This is how I feel

Have you ever felt cheated? By someone, someone you love more than you loved yourself. Have you? Well, I do. It hurts me like hell. And ALL of my girlfriends said I was so stupid. Stupid because stayed in a relationship with HIM after what he done. But, I don't care about what people gonna say about it. I don't think I'm stupid for standing and staying for what I really love and really care. He do make me happy. And I don't regret for what I believed. So, girlfriends, I know you care a lot about me, thanks but SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP SAYING THIS AND THAT! I know myself better. I know what's best for me.


Every relationship will face this problem with their lover (So there's no need for you to call me 'stupid'). Especially at the beginning of the relationship, whereas both of you are in the process of building the trust on each other. Nang pembulak lah nak, mun ktkorg madah gerek ktkorg tek terus kinek-kinek cayak 100% ngan ktkorg time baruk gerek. So, sik mustahil bah gerek ktkorg nak curang ngan ktkorg nak?? Nothing is impossible. You know, when this shit happened, my self-confidence was like taken a battering, and I just need HIM and people to understand, what it's like walking on my shoes. I am not stupid for giving him another chance. Everyone deserves a second chance. Isn't it? A chance for him to explain why he was being unfaithful to me. And he was sorry and swears not to do it again. If I want the relationship to work, I have to believe him. I know, I don't trusted him like I used to, but I want to give it a try, to learn to trust him again. I've got hurt, and I'm questioning about it a lot. Tonnes of questions that needed its answers. Then, when I got my answers to my questions when he explained his guiltiness, I must accepts and try to not bring it up again. Because if I want to heal, I have to lay 'it' rest. Got what I mean? 


I know, he loves me. Probably as much as I love him. And I believed, I can make this things work even if it's not easy and it takes a lot of effort. I'm stronger each day, so there's no reason why people should called me 'stupid' just because I stood up for what I loved. It's bullshit, girlfriends. I know my relationship wasn't perfect, but hey, yours weren't either. It's not that I'm not taking your advices but it was just too much and I had enough. Stop being sarcastic to me, sekda urang muji bah.